2007年10月15日 星期一
Delusion
I went shopping for commodities with Alice after wring class. It has everything that I expect to find in the store, just like small department store but cheaper. When we found the product we wanted, a woman came up and asked us to fill up the questionnaire. She was a seller who sold facial products and said as long as we finished filling up, she gave away free sample of lotion. In the event, we found that we were cheated and the sellers only introduce their products to us. I didn't want to buy it at all, she gave up merchandising when she knew I didn't have desire to buy it.However, she didn't give us the sample. In short, we would bear in mind the lesson and not have a strong desire for gains.
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"Commodities" is the wrong word. It's a dictionary word that you don't understand because you didn't bother to see how it is used and what it really means: "2 a : an economic good; especially : a product of agriculture, mining, or sometimes manufacture as distinguished from services *commodities such as meat, fats, and sugar— American Annual* *commodity prices* b : an article of commerce; especially : one delivered to a transportation company for shipment". Any other usage is not currently idiomatic native-speaker English. We never say "shopping for commodities" unless we mean the raw materials used to produce something else.
What is "wring class"? Sloppy. No proofreading. I will take points off for making this kind of silly mistake. Not just for you, but for everyone.
"fill up the questionnaire". Not idiomatic English. First, it should be either "complete" or "fill out", not "fill up". Second, because you haven't mentioned any questionnaire in the previous sentences, you must say "a questionnaire".
"seller" should be "facial products saleswoman", and then you can delete "of facial products".
This is nonsense in English: "as long as we finished filling up, she gave away free sample of lotion". You have to say something like "who told us that she would give a free facial lotion sample if we filled out the questionnaire".
"In the event, we found that we were cheated and the sellers only introduce their products to us" is more nonsense. Say simply "She lied."
"she gave up merchandising" is not idiomatic English in this context either. It should be "she gave up trying to persuade us to buy her expensive lotion".
Still more nonsense: "In short, we would bear in mind the lesson and not have a strong desire for gains." What does this want to say? How about this: "We learned our lesson. Never fill out a questionnaire until after the salesperson hands over the promised free product."?
Too much nonsense in this paragraph. Too much literal translation from Chinese into English. Do some more reading to see how native speakers write English. Don't translate directly from Chinese. All that gets you is Chinglish, a language nobody understands.
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